You Have One SHOT
A debrief of the 2025 Tournament
You.
I recently saw something on a Facebook post that hit me hard:
“You will spend the majority of your life knowing your children as adults.
But for a brief moment you’ll get the chance to know them as kids.”
It’s obvious and yet, we all miss it unless we are very intentional. I met a man recently who was a stay-at-home Dad of two boys and a girl. He and his wife made the choice for him to stay home and raise the kids while she worked. All the kids are grown now, well-adjusted and successful. He has no regrets. Children with actively involved fathers, tend to thrive academically and emotionally, with improved language skills, lower stress levels, and increased chances of completing college. There are stats galore. You know it’s true though. At Treign UP, Dad depravation is one of the major fault lines in the boy crisis. Intentional fathers bridge the gap.
This weekend, 17 dads and 17 sons came together for our annual Tournament, a mentor/boy event that we host annually at a local retreat center. It consists of seven competitions to include: paper football; marbles; fishing derby; disc golf; corn hole, archery, and putt-putt. The boys range in age from 4-12, for now. We also include a competency component for the retreat. This year it was archery led by a certified instructor from the Center Shot Ministries.
On Saturday night, we have a Blessing and Affirmation Ceremony, which consists of a father sharing a prepared message for his (son) that calls forth a character trait in the boy, which that man believes is important to the call of God on his son’s life. He is required to share a story that exemplifies this attribute and then present the boy with a token to help him remember the moment.
One father shared a story about his son’s self-control. The father was a boxer and so early on, he had his son punching his hands. The boy was very strong and soon the father had to get boxing gloves to soften the blow to his hands. Eventually, the story goes that the boy learned to control his punches so as not to hurt his dad’s hands while still working on his skills. The father gave the son a key chain with a pair of boxing gloves dangling from the chain. Perfect.
What may surprise you, is the reaction of the other boys in the group. 17 children ranging in ages from 3-12. They were spellbound. I’m a professional communicator. I have advanced degrees on the subject. Effective communication is engagement. When a diverse age group like that is riveted to what is being said, SOMETHING is happening. I have seen it over and over again in the 30+ years I’ve been doing this. In the rain; the darkness; the cold…. It’s always the same. There is a clear spirit-to-spirit communication happening. Every boy LONGS for that kind of moment. It is undeniable.
Several of our boys had never fished before. It was a thrill to watch their dads stand by them as they reeled in their first catch. It was sheer exhilaration.
Even the dads enjoyed the fishing derby!
These men were INTENTIONAL. Taking a full weekend away with your son and leaving your wife and the rest of the family behind isn’t easy. Although, I have to admit, there isn’t a wife I know who doesn’t want her son to attend an event like this with his father. Some men had to make a few concessions. But their resolve to make the time count mattered. It matters forever. I told the men at the beginning of the weekend that they should make every moment with their son count while they were here. They would NEVER regret that. YOU. HAVE. ONE. SHOT. There are no do overs in raising your kids. Even by age 9, most of their moral foundations have been laid. It’s really such a short period of time that you have. Getting it “RIGHT” mostly has to do with being available and intentional; no regrets!
However, there can only be one TOURNAMENT champion at the end of the weekend. Congrats to this year’s winners, Harrison and Lincoln Adams!
It almost goes without saying that the real winners were the men and their boys who carved out a weekend in their calendar year to gather with other godly men to affirm and bless their boys on their journey towards manhood. For more pictures and follow up, go to our website at Treignup.org/Tournament. If you would like to know about next year’s Tournament, email us your information at jeff@saltandlightmin.org and we’ll get you on the mailing list.