Hyper-Masculinity

When has it gone too far?

The following is an analysis between an idea and commentary around a topic that I believe helps us to dive deeper into the question of what is biblical manhood.

Bridal Mysticism

The first idea is known as bridal mysticism which I first came across from an article written by Brett Mckay of The Art of Manliness. Bridal mysticism is a spiritual concept within Christian theology that interprets the relationship between Christ and the believer as akin to that between a bridegroom and his bride. This analogy is rooted in biblical imagery, particularly found in the New Testament, where Christ is depicted as the bridegroom and the Church is referred to as his bride. The concept emphasizes a deep, intimate, and personal union between Christ and the individual believer, akin to a marital relationship.

This form of mysticism became prominent during the High Middle Ages, influenced by the writings and teachings of notable Christian mystics such as Bernard of Clairvaux. These mystics often used romantic or even erotic language to describe the soul's passionate union with Jesus, drawing heavily on the allegorical interpretation of the "Song of Songs" from the Old Testament, which traditionally symbolizes the love of God for His people.

Mckay believes that Bridal mysticism has been particularly influential in shaping the devotional practices of many Christian mystics, encouraging a deeply personal and emotional experience of God's presence. However, this approach has also been critiqued for potentially feminizing Christian worship and spirituality, as its language and emotional expressions can align more closely with traditionally feminine modes of spirituality, possibly contributing to the gender disparities in church participation and engagement. This was a part of a larger series that he did in which he aimed to analyze why there was such a discrepancy between men and women throughout the history of the church.

Hyper Masculinity

The second is a Youtube video from Gavin Ortlund who provides commentary around a recent issue that popped up on “X”. It had to do with a Pastor who called out Shepherd’s conference for singing what he believed to be very “effeminate” songs. People gave him a lot of push back but he doubled down on this as being more than just preference. It seemed very in line with the bridal mysticism idea. Gavin, however, disagreed and felt this issue led to an important question:

“I feel a burden for the younger men in our culture and the vision for masculinity that is being put in front of them….. this gives us an opportunity to ask -

What is masculinity?”

Gavin, I think, did a wonderful job framing this controversy into a 3-point framework as to where the “masculinity movement” can go wrong.

1. Stereotyping

2. Legalism

3. Ugliness

Stereotyping

Gavin discusses Stereotyping by highlighting how cultural and personal expressions of masculinity can often be mistakenly conflated with the essence of biblical masculinity itself. He articulates that while certain biblical principles regarding masculinity are immutable, the cultural and personality expressions of these principles can vary widely. He warns against the danger of "conflating the cultural expression or the personality expression with the thing itself," using the analogy of differing household roles to demonstrate how culturally relative these expressions can be. He questions the stereotype that assigns specific tasks based on gender, such as the assumption that in a marriage, "the husband always changes the oil in the car and the wife always does the dishes." Gavin highlights that such tasks are not prescribed by scripture and vary according to cultural and personal preferences.

He notes that in many Western contexts, masculinity is often associated with independence and competitiveness. This aligns with a cultural narrative that values individual achievement and assertiveness, traits commonly celebrated as masculine in places like the United States and Europe.

Conversely, Gavin describes how in many Eastern cultures, particularly in parts of Asia, masculinity is more closely tied to loyalty to one's group or tribe, devotion to family, and a communal sense of honor. In these cultures, a man who remains faithful to his wife and is deeply involved in the well-being of his family is seen as highly masculine. This contrasts sharply with the more individualistic approach seen in the West, where a man's masculinity might be measured by personal success and autonomy. Gavin uses this comparison to argue that understanding these cultural nuances is crucial in recognizing that the expression of biblical masculinity can vary significantly across different societal contexts.

Legalism

There is a danger of going beyond what is written in scripture.

It is easy to “add on”.

“This is why obeying God’s commandments is actually freeing because you don’t have to make up anything new. You just stick with the ones he gave us.”

Many people, he believes, are more afraid of subtracting from God’s commandments rather than ‘adding on’ to God’s commandments. But, both of these are problematic.

He goes on to speak about how the Bible pushes against all sides on this debate around men and women’s roles.

• Egalitarian: It is really hard for you to read all that Paul speaks to regarding women and not be challenged by it.

• Patriarchal: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is a radical subversion of what so many cultures believed to be true about how man should lead.

The ultimate point he tries to make here, is that it is possible to disobey the commands of scripture in multiple directions. His concern seems to be that this form of legalism not only creates unnecessary barriers but also alienates individuals who do not conform to these man-made rules about what it means to be masculine.

Ugliness

Stereotyping and legalism ultimately culminate into something that is not beautiful. Hypermasculinity fits this where exaggerated masculine traits can manifest in ways that are not only unhelpful but also unattractive and unchristian. He describes hypermasculinity as "often very ugly," noting how it can be "socially inept" and "oblivious to the offense that it gives." This form of masculinity, Gavin argues, fails to "incarnate truth with beauty and love," which is essential in truly embodying the character of Christ.

“We are not called to merely be resistant to error. We are called to incarnate truth with beauty and love. If we are not doing that, it is not like we are just getting a B-. We are taking a step backwards. Paul says that without love, no matter what gifting you have, you are a resounding cymbal.”

By focusing too heavily on combating cultural pressures, hypermasculine approaches can lose sight of the fundamental Christian commandments to love and serve gracefully.

Important points

Throughout, I thought Gavin made some important points - most of which I agreed with.

1. Crisis:

   1. He agrees there is a boy crisis (and went on to discuss the many statistics that point to this)

2. Challenge:

   1. He speaks to the power of the Bible to challenge all of the views that culture holds. (Your personal views should be challenged as well)

3. Over-correction:

   1. “I understand that there are Christians out there that want to push back on the prevailing cultural winds, many of which are contributing to this issue of the boy crisis.” Don’t overcorrect… (I feel like here is talking to us…heard loud and clear, Gavin! It’s something we’ve been talking about since the beginning.)

I am still not sure where I personally fall on the controversy that kicked this whole thing off. I do tend to believe that much of our culture and the church has become feminized. This includes music. Ultimately, this is where I think a balance is necessary. Just like in narrative warfare, an over-emphasis on one thing, even if true, can sometimes lead to deception. Ultimately, Christ is the model for Biblical Manhood and masculinity. And he embodied the perfect balance of Lion and Lamb.

Lion and the Lamb

In reflecting upon the lives of both David and Jesus, we see a profound demonstration of balanced masculinity, embodying both the lion's courage and the lamb's gentleness. King David, a revered warrior, and poet, showcases this duality by leading his people with valor in battle while also expressing deep emotional vulnerability in his psalms. Jesus Christ further epitomizes this blend. His actions in the temple, where he flipped the tables, and his spiritual confrontations with the devil, reveal a fierce, lion-like strength in defending righteousness. Simultaneously, His crucifixion embodies the ultimate sacrifice of strength and toughness.

Yet, both figures also embraced the qualities of the lamb. Jesus wept openly, showing His capacity for profound empathy and compassion. His act of washing His disciples' feet was a powerful expression of humility and service, illustrating that true leadership involves servitude and love.

Our goal as followers of Christ is to model this balanced approach in our lives and to teach our sons to do the same—to walk with Jesus in a manner that harmonizes courage, toughness, and love. We must strive to embody both the lion's roar and the lamb's quiet grace. If there are teachings or interpretations that deviate from this balanced view, we invite dialogue and correction. We are just a comment away, ready to engage and learn together in our journey toward a deeper understanding of biblical masculinity.