Guardrails of Love

The Role of Discipline in Raising Godly Boys

The Biblical Concept of Restraining a Child

The Story of Eli (1 Samuel 1-3)

The story of Eli in 1 Samuel is a tough one to read.  It’s the story of a father who failed to properly ‘restrain’ his sons.   My NIV Bible calls them ‘scoundrels’, which is one of my favorite words in the English language.  However, the word in Hebrew is also translated worthless, good for nothing, wicked, ungodly, and naughty.   My version also has a heading for this part of the story in scripture.  It says “Eli’s Wicked Sons”.   The Bible has been around for a very long time and as often as it is read, we are reminded that Eli’s legacy is he raised scoundrels;  That’s not something you want to be remembered for doing.

At the heart of Eli’s parental dilemma, we find the issue that caused this problem in 1 Samuel 3:11-14

And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears about it tingle.  At that time, I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God,  and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’”

He failed to restrain them.  

Again, because words matter, the original language uses a word that means, “He made them dull” or “he caused them to grow weak.”  I can just see Eli and his boys standing in the grocery store line waiting for check out:

Eli:  If you boys do that one more time, I’m going to spank both of you.

Of course, when they do that thing, nothing happens to the boys.  

Eli: I’m going to count to three.

That one makes me shiver because you know what happens after we get to three. 

Nothing.

And there you have it.  There are no immediate consequences.   What I say and what I do are two different things and the children are watching.

Solomon, who was also a dismal failure as a father, told his sons, “He who spares the rod hates his children.  But the one who loves his children is careful to discipline them.  Going well beyond the conversation about ‘the rod’,  we see that the counsel here is that discipline is NECESSARY if you love your children.  

Hebrews 12:11 says “ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”   As fathers (and sons) we know this to be true.  Children are constantly trying to find out where the boundary lines are drawn and when they are moved or moveable, it causes confusion and angst.